The Little Dirty Word Should
"I should have worn my high top hiking boots."
"I should have been paying attention."
"I should push myself more."
"I should relax."
"I should organize my house, clean my car, wash the dogs, and paint a new painting."
"I should do more, I should be more, I should be better."
"You should love me more."
"I should have been paying attention."
"I should push myself more."
"I should relax."
"I should organize my house, clean my car, wash the dogs, and paint a new painting."
"I should do more, I should be more, I should be better."
"You should love me more."
Definition of should in English:
VERB ( 3rd sing. should)
1Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions:he should have been carefulI think we should trust our people moreyou shouldn’t have gone
I can't stand the way this word makes me feel. It comes from such a deep place of judgement usually directed inwardly (although I'm also guilty of directing it at the ones I love on occasion). It's a perpetual dialogue that makes one feel inadequate, lazy, not good enough, and unworthy. It causes insecurity, self doubt, and paralysis. I've used this word a few too many times throughout this journey and I'm realizing the harm this little dirty word can do. I'm sending it to the same far away place I've sent fear, perfectionism, impatience, not being present, and that little ghost of a memory to. No more should, just acceptance.
I can't stand the way this word makes me feel. It comes from such a deep place of judgement usually directed inwardly (although I'm also guilty of directing it at the ones I love on occasion). It's a perpetual dialogue that makes one feel inadequate, lazy, not good enough, and unworthy. It causes insecurity, self doubt, and paralysis. I've used this word a few too many times throughout this journey and I'm realizing the harm this little dirty word can do. I'm sending it to the same far away place I've sent fear, perfectionism, impatience, not being present, and that little ghost of a memory to. No more should, just acceptance.
Hi! I broke my ankle in September, and I totally relate to this, except for my words are "What If". At the end of the day, I just have to think this was a way for me to slow down and "watch my steps", rather than floating through life without paying attention. It's funny how the things you miss are so simple : taking a walk to get tea, deep cleaning your house, running out at 2AM to get some pie at House of Pies. I feel like this ankle fracture is making me learn how to appreciate life again. I'm really glad I found your blog!
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