Weaning
I've crossed the limit of how much narcotics my body can take and have been slowly weaning myself off everything. I've never been a good druggie, thank god, and I am so happy to get back to feeling normal in my head and body again. I've definitely learned a lot about surgery, hospital stays, trimalloeor fractures, taking care of a broken ankle, but one the biggest lesson I have learned throughout this journey is "pain management" and the multiple issues this brings. I've also realized writing this blog, talking about all of the narcotics I was on makes me uncomfortable and I don't really know why. It's something I have yet to learn.
The quote they keep telling me is "You don't want to be pain free, just where you can tolerate it." I'm not sure what that bullshit means but I don't want to end up a junkie so I guess I'll have to do what they say. So between the nurses and my doc we agreed my goal of pain, on the pain scale, would be anywhere between 0-3. Unfortunately I spent a great deal of time in the 8-10 area after each surgery so they had me on heavier drugs to get me to my goal. The heaviest drugs I have ever taken.
Here's a quick rundown of my "pain management" over the past 6 weeks:
Day 1- They shot me up with 14mg of morphine in the ambulance on my way to the hospital. While in the emergency room, they realized the morphine wasn't working and started me on IV Dilaudid which is over 3x stronger than morphine. I became extremely ill from the morphine and violently threw up that evening.
Day 2- The emergency room sent me home with Percoset and strong Ibuprofen. It didn't work and I was in major pain for two days. They also advised me to start taking Milk of Magnesia to keep my system going.
Day 5- Went back to ER, and they switched my prescription to Vicodin and Ibuprofen. They also gave me some more IV Dilaudid. We didn't know at the time, but my ankle was dislocated in addition to being broken in three places so no wonder nothing was working to control the pain! I was also feeling the normal effects of the narcotics, nodding off, confusion, nausea, loss of appetite, crawling skin, itching, and constipation. I would learn to manage these symptoms over the next few weeks
Day 7- I had my first appointment with Kaiser. This was the day I finally was properly diagnosed with three fractures and a dislocated ankle. It was also the day they "set" my bones and I had my first surgery where they made me "Robo Cankle". I was in the hospital for two nights in which they kept me pretty pumped with IV Diaudid and a couple more I don't remember the names of when the Dulaudid would wear off. They also were giving me oral Dilaudid and Percoset in addition to the IV.
Day 10- They sent me home with oral Dilaudid and Norcos. I was on Norcos every four hours and Dilaudid every two hours. My average pain level was around a 5.
Day 22- Surgery day. Upon waking up from surgery, my pain was at a 10. They gave me IV Dilaudid but it didn't do anything. We opted for a nerve block since the meds were not enough to control the pain. They were worried I had become resistant to Dilaudid.
Day 23- About 15 hours later, the nerve block wore off and I was back up to a steady 8-9 on the pain scale. They had taken me off the IV Dilaudid and put me on oral Dilaudid and Norco. It didn't work so they upped the drugs to the strongest Percocet. It worked for the pain but I literally was on a different planet. I was seeing shadows, fearful, overly emotional, and couldn't focus. I hated feeling like that and asked the doc to bring me back down. I ended up going home with Percocet and Dilaudid, just lesser doses so I could function.
Day 35- I stopped taking Dilaudid on my own.
Day 37- I had my first post op appointment with my doc. He lowered my meds to Norco with Ibuprofen.
Today- I am down to one Norco a day, sometimes two if the pain is worse.
Tomorrow- I hope to be drug free very soon!
I've literally taken hundreds of heavy duty narcotic pills over the past 6 weeks in addition to all of the IV drugs. I understand it was something I needed, but it's something I don't ever want to go through again. From juggling trying to take the least amount and not miss the "window" to take more and be stuck in pain to "getting behind the pain", it was too much for me. I felt like I was out of my skin, like I was someone else. I couldn't even read a book because my focus was non existent. When I go back
and read some of my blogs, I can hear a different voice in some places. Yes, my voice, but different. I won't ever change those entries because that was me at the time, what I was feeling, and I want to remember it all, even the parts I don't like. Reading these entries remind me how far I've come and that makes me feel awesome.
The quote they keep telling me is "You don't want to be pain free, just where you can tolerate it." I'm not sure what that bullshit means but I don't want to end up a junkie so I guess I'll have to do what they say. So between the nurses and my doc we agreed my goal of pain, on the pain scale, would be anywhere between 0-3. Unfortunately I spent a great deal of time in the 8-10 area after each surgery so they had me on heavier drugs to get me to my goal. The heaviest drugs I have ever taken.
Here's a quick rundown of my "pain management" over the past 6 weeks:
Day 1- They shot me up with 14mg of morphine in the ambulance on my way to the hospital. While in the emergency room, they realized the morphine wasn't working and started me on IV Dilaudid which is over 3x stronger than morphine. I became extremely ill from the morphine and violently threw up that evening.
Day 2- The emergency room sent me home with Percoset and strong Ibuprofen. It didn't work and I was in major pain for two days. They also advised me to start taking Milk of Magnesia to keep my system going.
Day 5- Went back to ER, and they switched my prescription to Vicodin and Ibuprofen. They also gave me some more IV Dilaudid. We didn't know at the time, but my ankle was dislocated in addition to being broken in three places so no wonder nothing was working to control the pain! I was also feeling the normal effects of the narcotics, nodding off, confusion, nausea, loss of appetite, crawling skin, itching, and constipation. I would learn to manage these symptoms over the next few weeks
Day 7- I had my first appointment with Kaiser. This was the day I finally was properly diagnosed with three fractures and a dislocated ankle. It was also the day they "set" my bones and I had my first surgery where they made me "Robo Cankle". I was in the hospital for two nights in which they kept me pretty pumped with IV Diaudid and a couple more I don't remember the names of when the Dulaudid would wear off. They also were giving me oral Dilaudid and Percoset in addition to the IV.
Day 10- They sent me home with oral Dilaudid and Norcos. I was on Norcos every four hours and Dilaudid every two hours. My average pain level was around a 5.
Day 22- Surgery day. Upon waking up from surgery, my pain was at a 10. They gave me IV Dilaudid but it didn't do anything. We opted for a nerve block since the meds were not enough to control the pain. They were worried I had become resistant to Dilaudid.
Day 23- About 15 hours later, the nerve block wore off and I was back up to a steady 8-9 on the pain scale. They had taken me off the IV Dilaudid and put me on oral Dilaudid and Norco. It didn't work so they upped the drugs to the strongest Percocet. It worked for the pain but I literally was on a different planet. I was seeing shadows, fearful, overly emotional, and couldn't focus. I hated feeling like that and asked the doc to bring me back down. I ended up going home with Percocet and Dilaudid, just lesser doses so I could function.
Day 35- I stopped taking Dilaudid on my own.
Day 37- I had my first post op appointment with my doc. He lowered my meds to Norco with Ibuprofen.
Today- I am down to one Norco a day, sometimes two if the pain is worse.
Tomorrow- I hope to be drug free very soon!
I've literally taken hundreds of heavy duty narcotic pills over the past 6 weeks in addition to all of the IV drugs. I understand it was something I needed, but it's something I don't ever want to go through again. From juggling trying to take the least amount and not miss the "window" to take more and be stuck in pain to "getting behind the pain", it was too much for me. I felt like I was out of my skin, like I was someone else. I couldn't even read a book because my focus was non existent. When I go back
and read some of my blogs, I can hear a different voice in some places. Yes, my voice, but different. I won't ever change those entries because that was me at the time, what I was feeling, and I want to remember it all, even the parts I don't like. Reading these entries remind me how far I've come and that makes me feel awesome.
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