Weaning not Weaning
Ok so I've been trying for over a week to switch from taking Norcos to only taking over the counter Aleve and it's been wayyy harder than I thought it would be. I assumed once the major pain would subside, I would just start taking Aleve to numb any residual minor pain I might have. My fear of the unknown lasted a few days and well so did taking Norco. Like I said before I'm a bad druggie and I had no idea what my body was in for. This is a hard and very personal post but expressing the hardest parts of this journey so far has only helped my healing.
I had successfully weaned myself down to 1-2 10/325 Norcos at night only and decided it was time to stop being scared of what might happen and just stop, cold turkey. I bought Aleve and Unisom sleeping pills (both recommended by my doctor) to use in case I had some pain or couldn't sleep. The first day was cake. I felt pretty good, no pain. In fact I didn't even need to take an Aleve. I thought to myself how lucky I was to not need anymore Norco. I went to bed that night with a little anxiety that I could wake up in pain. It took me quite a bit longer than normal to fall asleep and my night was pretty rough. I was restless and just couldn't get comfortable. This was a far cry from my normal 10+ hours if deep healing sleep I have been enjoying for the past 8 weeks.
I woke up the next morning in pain but took an Aleve. To my surprise, the Aleve took away the pain in less than 30 minutes. Although the pain was gone, I definitely wasn't feeling right. I was a little naseous and had a weird pins and needles feeling throughout my body. I chalked it up to being hot and tired from the night before and decided to take it easy all day. I didn't know it was the start of my withdrawal from the weeks of heavy narcotics I was on.
By that afternoon, I felt awful. I was feeling as if I was coming down with the flu but also extremely restless. I was determined to ride it out until it was time to go to bed. I was literally counting the hours until I could crawl into bed, take another Aleve and the promise of sleep in the form of two Unisom fast acting chewables. By this time I had a sinking feeling I was not immune to the dreaded withdrawals I read about online. But I don't feel like a junkie, non junkies don't have withdrawals right? I did everything my Doctor asked me to do and am being extremely proactive in getting off the meds.
That's the crazy thing about drugs. They make your own brain manipulate your own thoughts. I seemed to forget the hundreds of percocets, dilaudids, Vicodins, and Norcos I ate like candy over the past couple of months. My body loved them, my brain hated them and it looks like I might be at war.
I made it to bedtime and couldn't swallow the Aleve and Unisom fast enough. Oh if I could just pass out, I'll make it to tomorrow! It took about an hour for the Unisom to kick in and I passed out for 30 minutes. When I woke up, I spent the next 3 hours writhing in what I can only describe as energy surges and pins and needles feeling throughout my entire body. It felt like every nerve in my body was screaming for more narcotics. I literally could not sit still and my muscles were even having spasms. Holy shit, I'm officially addicted. Not my consciousness, but my physical brain and body are. Once again I felt as if I was out of my skin, me but not me. I had no idea what to do so I turned to the internet right after I caved and downed a Norco.
Everything I've read plus what others have told me before was now coming together. It will be very hard to quit cold turkey even for a cold turkey kind of girl like myself. Many people told me this but it didn't register as something I would need to worry about until now. There's a thing in the pain management world called tapering off. I need to spend the next week cutting down the Norcos everyday in hopes the withdrawals will be less. I guess I really didn't grasp the seriousness of the meds I was... am taking.
I am realizing this is yet another step in my journey and another lesson I am learning. I can see so clearly how the cycle of drug abuse can start and quickly escalate into a life destroying event even for the most non junkie of junkies. I'm am just thankful I'm in a happy place in my life and my consciousness will override my brain and body to get through this even if the tapering off doesn't work. I hope with all my heart it does and I never have to feel my nerves scream like that again. If any of you have any experience with this and know of anything else I can do to ease the withdrawl symptoms please share with me. You are welcome to private message me as well.
I had successfully weaned myself down to 1-2 10/325 Norcos at night only and decided it was time to stop being scared of what might happen and just stop, cold turkey. I bought Aleve and Unisom sleeping pills (both recommended by my doctor) to use in case I had some pain or couldn't sleep. The first day was cake. I felt pretty good, no pain. In fact I didn't even need to take an Aleve. I thought to myself how lucky I was to not need anymore Norco. I went to bed that night with a little anxiety that I could wake up in pain. It took me quite a bit longer than normal to fall asleep and my night was pretty rough. I was restless and just couldn't get comfortable. This was a far cry from my normal 10+ hours if deep healing sleep I have been enjoying for the past 8 weeks.
I woke up the next morning in pain but took an Aleve. To my surprise, the Aleve took away the pain in less than 30 minutes. Although the pain was gone, I definitely wasn't feeling right. I was a little naseous and had a weird pins and needles feeling throughout my body. I chalked it up to being hot and tired from the night before and decided to take it easy all day. I didn't know it was the start of my withdrawal from the weeks of heavy narcotics I was on.
By that afternoon, I felt awful. I was feeling as if I was coming down with the flu but also extremely restless. I was determined to ride it out until it was time to go to bed. I was literally counting the hours until I could crawl into bed, take another Aleve and the promise of sleep in the form of two Unisom fast acting chewables. By this time I had a sinking feeling I was not immune to the dreaded withdrawals I read about online. But I don't feel like a junkie, non junkies don't have withdrawals right? I did everything my Doctor asked me to do and am being extremely proactive in getting off the meds.
That's the crazy thing about drugs. They make your own brain manipulate your own thoughts. I seemed to forget the hundreds of percocets, dilaudids, Vicodins, and Norcos I ate like candy over the past couple of months. My body loved them, my brain hated them and it looks like I might be at war.
I made it to bedtime and couldn't swallow the Aleve and Unisom fast enough. Oh if I could just pass out, I'll make it to tomorrow! It took about an hour for the Unisom to kick in and I passed out for 30 minutes. When I woke up, I spent the next 3 hours writhing in what I can only describe as energy surges and pins and needles feeling throughout my entire body. It felt like every nerve in my body was screaming for more narcotics. I literally could not sit still and my muscles were even having spasms. Holy shit, I'm officially addicted. Not my consciousness, but my physical brain and body are. Once again I felt as if I was out of my skin, me but not me. I had no idea what to do so I turned to the internet right after I caved and downed a Norco.
Everything I've read plus what others have told me before was now coming together. It will be very hard to quit cold turkey even for a cold turkey kind of girl like myself. Many people told me this but it didn't register as something I would need to worry about until now. There's a thing in the pain management world called tapering off. I need to spend the next week cutting down the Norcos everyday in hopes the withdrawals will be less. I guess I really didn't grasp the seriousness of the meds I was... am taking.
I am realizing this is yet another step in my journey and another lesson I am learning. I can see so clearly how the cycle of drug abuse can start and quickly escalate into a life destroying event even for the most non junkie of junkies. I'm am just thankful I'm in a happy place in my life and my consciousness will override my brain and body to get through this even if the tapering off doesn't work. I hope with all my heart it does and I never have to feel my nerves scream like that again. If any of you have any experience with this and know of anything else I can do to ease the withdrawl symptoms please share with me. You are welcome to private message me as well.
Oh Jamie, it sounds like you are on the right path here. Best of luck I know you will kick those norco's to the curb. I know this journey of transition, call me if you want :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Jenn!
ReplyDelete