Blessed: [bless·ed] blissfully happy or contented.

If I could change one thing about myself it would be to give me the ability to ask for help when I need it. That and to sing amazing drunk karaoke, but that's another blog. I'm one of those people who has an extremely difficult time asking others for anything. I'll be the first one to sacrifice myself to help others, whether it's help for friends, work, family, even perfect strangers, but when it comes to help for me, I usually lie and tell people I don't need it. Asking and/or accepting help makes me vulnerable to revealing my true imperfect self to others. It also opens me up to being rejected if my request for help is denied. Both the internal fear of imperfection and being rejected are deeply rooted  within myself and contribute to my daily stress and anxiety. To change those thoughts would have a positive impact on my well being.

With that said, being stuck on bed rest for 23 hours a day forces me to not only ask for help but rely on help for almost everything. Silly universe and your plans! I am seriously blessed with the people that surround me and all of the help I have received. Shannon & Steve installing new "broken ankle friendly" shower heads in my house, picking me up from the hospital, getting groceries and staying the night with me while Tony was in training. My coordinators, Corie, and Aunt Terrie taking the time to bring over fresh dinners, Judi and Jana taking care of my horse, Sue donating a bag full of comfy skirts, Joe getting me a wheelchair, Chuck giving us a room air conditioner, and so many more that sent flowers, cards, and pure love. It's overwhelming, it's healing, and I can't even put into words what it means to me.

And my husband.

He's the one who has really shown me that there is an endless amount of love coming to me. Not just because he fills my ice water, cleans the house, makes dinner, wheels me around, and washes my hair. Not because he holds my hand when I'm in pain and sobbing and sad but because he does all of this with the most positive outlook a person in his situation could possibly have. He makes me feel like really, truly everything is going to be ok and he's going to hold my hand the whole way there.

I'm sure there is a lot of help from many more people I will need to get through this and I will ask for it and I am so grateful for it. It seems the universe plans to heal my broken bones and a few broken thoughts as well and I open my heart to all of it. It is time.