Fear, fickle fear.
I'm not really sure when it happened. When did fear enter my life? The last thing I remember, I was a wild, free, and fearless teenager. Now I fight fear daily.
Afraid of failing, afraid of pain, afraid of broken bones, afraid of all the stupid things that don't matter.
I went on a horseback ride Saturday. It's so true when they say "You can gauge the riders state of mind by their horse." I let down my calm, beautiful, patient horse because of fear, not living in the moment, and allowing the chatter in my brain to block out reality. All of the things I've learned to overcome in the past eight months were thrown out the window in five small minutes. Luckily my horse is smart and resilient and forgiving.
It's a hard reality when you have a set back like I did Saturday. I have a lot to learn and a lot to let go of still. It seems I still have not shaken that ghost of a memory.
Afraid of failing, afraid of pain, afraid of broken bones, afraid of all the stupid things that don't matter.
I went on a horseback ride Saturday. It's so true when they say "You can gauge the riders state of mind by their horse." I let down my calm, beautiful, patient horse because of fear, not living in the moment, and allowing the chatter in my brain to block out reality. All of the things I've learned to overcome in the past eight months were thrown out the window in five small minutes. Luckily my horse is smart and resilient and forgiving.
It's a hard reality when you have a set back like I did Saturday. I have a lot to learn and a lot to let go of still. It seems I still have not shaken that ghost of a memory.
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