Restorative Yoga and a Movie Star

My mind tonight in my heated restorative yoga class:

My teacher is a movie star. Really she's been in movies. She's so tiny. I wonder if Ashton Kutcher is tiny because she seemed like she was his size in the movie.

She wants us to make our belly's fat with our breath. Alrighty. Fat breath belly.

Breathe.... Count how many breaths before I get distracted. One, two....what was on that red neck T-shirt I saw in Lake Arrowhead? Don't mess with a chipmunk's nuts? I still don't get it. Oh yeah, breathe. One, I'm sooooo hungry. I want to eat that chipmunk's nuts. With a side of fries. With ranch. And bacon. Breathe. One, two, three... God I hope someone farts. It would be sooooo funny because it's so serious in here.I might pee my hot pants though. Breathe....

It's hot in here but it feels so nice. Like a womb, with fake candles. It smells like garlic and green smoothies. I'm soooo hungry.

She wants me to sit on my toes, not happening with my ankle. Oh, a block and a blanket for my ass. She's so smart. I'm sitting on my toes.... Kind of. Wow my neighbor can really sit on her toes. Wow.

My legs are on the wall. It feels good. My toes look fat but my nail polish is really posh. Grey, like my personality when I'm hungry.

Yes, a bolster!!! She's rubbing my back while I'm straddling a bolster. It's amazing. I'm pretty sure this is the best yoga class ever.

My stomach is growling but I can't move. I want to stay in Shavasana forever. Kill me now, she's giving us all a foot massage too?

Now my feet smell like papaya. Mmmm papaya.

I'm coming to this class every week!!!!