How to Step Out of F.E.A.R., aka False Evidence Appearing Real, and Step Into Love

I used to be so fearful. I was so afraid of using my voice, asking for what I needed, being unliked, being unseen, being rejected, and so much more. I would abandon myself over and over to make sure everyone liked me- but really I was just manipulating those around me to sooth my own fears. I was afraid to try new things, afraid to push outside of my comfort zone, and afraid of failing. Those fears were holding me back from reaching my full potential, stepping into my life’s purpose, and sharing my truth. 

Over the years, with some strong nudges from the Universe, I have overcome many of my fears. I have learned how to step out of fear and into love, and what a beautiful place that is. Learning this has greatly impacted my life and opened up so many opportunities I would never have had if I remained in fear.

Understanding fear’s purpose, and the role it plays, is how to start to step out of fear and into love. The obvious purpose of some fear is to keep us alive- fear is healthy when it urges us to hit our brakes when we almost get into a car accident. But what about all those other fears that have nothing to do with actual survival? Like fear of failure. Or fear of rejection or not being liked. Those kinds of fears have a different main purpose than survival. Their purpose is to force us to expand. They allow us to recognize we are holding limiting beliefs- kind of like our own internal guidance system. The stronger the fear, the stronger the wisdom within that fear. When we can recognize and acknowledge this, these fears can actually empower us. I am truly grateful for my fears. 

Fear is an emotion- and you are not your emotions. You are the awareness behind your emotions, or rather the witnesser. So when you have a fearful thought, become aware that it is just that, a thought. It is not reality, and you can let it go and send love to it. Take it to the next level of consciousness and become aware of what that fear was trying to teach you. Do you need to give yourself more self love? Do you need to express your needs? There is wisdom in there if you seek it out. This is how you grow. 

One of the best things I learned with my yoga practice is it is impossible to remain in a fearful state when you are focused on your breath. Take deep, slow breaths and bring yourself back to the present moment when feeling fear. The only time we have is the present, the past has already happened and we can’t change that, and the future hasn’t happened and we can’t control that either. Look at what is happening to our world right now- we couldn’t have seen this coming let alone controlled it. If we remain present, fear can’t maintain itself. Cultivate love in the present moment by maintaining your deep, slow breaths and place your hand over your heart. Envision your heart like a flower and the petals are open to allow love to flow out and in. 

We think that the color white is the absence of color, but in reality, white is produced when all colors of the visible spectrum are combined. It’s magic. The color white is just like love- it isn’t an absence of other emotions. Love is produced when all other emotions have been felt. You cannot feel love without having felt fear, which is the opposite of love. This contrast is what makes love feel so good. We know we have stepped out of fear when we can really fully feel love. 

Surrender your fear to the Universe- just let it go if it is not serving you anymore. Dig deep and find the courage and strength that is inside of you and show up for yourself. Sometimes we are more afraid of what changes will happen by letting go of our fears than the actual fear. What I have found, is no matter how scary facing my fears were, what I had made up in my head about the fear was much worse than reality. Usually when I jumped off that cliff, I found a feather bed waiting for me at the bottom. 

Get Help if needed. Seek professional help for fears based in past traumas or fears that cause issues such as major anxiety, panic attacks, or limit your ability to participate in your normal life activities. I have personally found success with EMDR Therapy for the PTSD I suffered after my accident and recently began Somatic Experiencing Therapy as well to help release other fears and subconscious self limiting beliefs.